Hesitant Faith

Written by Tammy Iund Woodard

If I’m being honest, and isn’t that really the goal? I relate to Peter, one of the disciples in the Bible. I relate to him more than I probably care to admit. I would describe Peter as passionate. Others might describe him as a hot head, acts before thinking, foot always in his mouth - you get the idea. I like to think that Peter loved Jesus so very much and felt so grateful for what Christ had done in his life, that this made him an incredibly passionate Jesus follower.

I like the story of Peter in boat, on the water and then stepping out onto the water. If you’ve grown up in church, like I have, you’ve probably heard this story preached in a sermon in every possible way. Or so it seems. I’m not going to try and put a new spin on it. I just want to give some practical application.

Matthew 14 is an account of the disciples being in the boat out on the water and Peter deciding to walk on the water to Jesus. It’s intriguing to me that the disciples had witnessed the miracle of Jesus multiplying the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish to feed 5,000 prior to the “boat event”. I don’t know what time the disciples entered the boat but the bible says that Jesus sent them immediately away. I’m assuming the feeding was around dinner time. Then bible says Jesus appeared to them, walking on the water around 3am.

I’m going to ask you to take a bit of a leap with me in practical application here. Ever been to a church service, a Christian event, something of the like that just got you really fired up? You left with your faith renewed and ready to conquer the world. I would assume the disciples felt something like this after witnessing the feeding miracle. One of my wonderings is this: Was Peter “riding high” a bit from that experience when he asked Jesus to bid him to come out on the water? That high offering some courage? I don’t know but it’s possible.

Then scripture tells us the disciples were in trouble. I can only imagine the level of storm they were encountering that would cause them to be “in trouble”. These were fishermen, remember. They knew how to handle a boat and the sea. It had to be extreme. They were so in fear mode that even seeing Jesus caused them to be terrified. Have you ever had that experience? You were afraid of the very “thing” (next decision perhaps) that could save you? I’ve been there.

Then Peter allowed his faith and passion to override his fear and said to Jesus, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” I LOVE the hesitant faith. I really do. Sometimes the only faith I can muster is hesitant faith. IF it’s really you. And yet, Jesus meant it when he said if we have faith as a mustard seed. Hesitant faith counts!

Jesus confirmed who he was and Peter went walking. Of course, Peter gets a great deal of “shade” thrown his way for looking at the wind and waves and sinking. But again, he knew who to call to for help. Again, Jesus confirmed who he was to Peter and rescued him.

As we are in a time of transition in our church, I want to reflect on some of these practical lessons. First, where does your passion lie? Are you a passionate Christ Follower? Your passion doesn’t have to manifest like Peters. We’re all different. But if you are feeling some lag in that passion, what do you need to do to stir it up? That’s a great conversation to have with Jesus. I bet he has some ideas. Second, are you willing to step out wherever God is calling you to step out, even if done with hesitant faith? Hesitant faith might sound like: “What if I fail?” Hesitant faith might sound like: “I’m terrified!” Hesitant faith might sound like: “I’m not sure what to do next.” Take that hesitant faith to Jesus, just as Peter did and say, “Lord if it’s you, bid me to come.” BUT then you have TO DO something! Peter asked for confirmation from the Lord, he received it and he acted on it - - even if hesitant — he didn’t keep asking for confirmation, he got out of the boat.

Take time this week to read Matthew 14 again and ask God to give you fresh revelation as to how it applies to you.